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Advice on raising children

This is from an excerpt from a famous book of Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (d. 751 AH) called Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood. One of the most important chapters of his book is the sixteenth chapter, which is entitled Fi fusool naafi’ah fi Tarbiyat al-Atfaal tuhmad ‘awaaqibuha ‘ind al-Kabr (Useful advice on raising children which will have good consequences when the child grows up). What follows is a summary of what Ibn Qayyim says:

1. The child should be breastfed by someone other than his mother, two or three days after birth. That is better because her milk after that time will be thick and contain different ingredients, unlike the milk of one who has been breastfeeding for a while. All the Arabs pay attention to that, and they give their children to desert women to breastfeed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was given to Banu Sa’d to be breastfed among them.

2. They should not be picked up and carried around until they are three months old or more, because they have only recently emerged from their mother’s wombs and their bodies are still weak.

3. They should be given only milk until their teeth appear, because their stomachs are weak and unable to digest food. When the baby’s teeth appear, his stomach has grown strong and is able to be nourished by food. Food should be introduced gradually.

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The best thing after Iman and the worst thing after Kufr [women] – Sayings of the Salaf

The best thing after Iman and the worst thing after Kufr [women]

It is reported that ‘Umar b. Al-Khattâb – Allâh be pleased with him – once addressed the people and said:

No man can have anything better after faith (îmân) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing. And no man can have anything worse after unbelief (kufr) than a sharp-tongued woman of bad character.

Al-Hâfidh Abul-Qâsim Al-Asbahânî, Al-Targhîb wa Al-Tarhîb article 1528. Also recorded in other sources with a slight variation in wording.

Related Links:

  • My Advice to the Women – by the Shaykhah Umm Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyah
    Download PDFs – Part 0102030405 (keep checking here for other parts)
    With the introduction and review of the esteemed Shaykh Aboo Abdur Rahmaan Muqbil ibn Haadee al-Waadiee [448 pages – Purchase Here ]
  • A Word for Women – Shaykh Badiuddeen Shah ar-Raashidee as-Sindhee
    This is a part of a Khutbah by Allaamah Shaykh Badiuddeen ar- Raashidee as-Sindhee taken from Khutubaat Raashidiyyah. p.122-123
  • Advice to the Muslim Woman – Shaykh Saalih bin Fawzaan al-Fawzaan [Book]
    This book is a complete translation of a transcribed lecture from Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan entitled: “Naseehah Lil-Mar’at-il-Muslimah” (Advice to the Muslim Woman). The source used for this translation was the book Muhaadaraat fil-‘Aqeedah wad-Da’wah, a large compilation of over 25 transcribed lectures from Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan on issues of Creed and Methodology (vol. 3, pg. 281-299, Markaz Fajr, 2003 Edition)

Project – Compilation Of Sisters’ Questions & Answers

Read message below from Authentic Statements:

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Bismillaah, wal-hamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu ‘alaa rasoolillaah,As Salaamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuh

My Dear Sisters in Islaam,

Alhamdulillah, we have Shuyook who teach us and make themselves available for questions and advice. But, sometimes, we don’t get the opportunity to ask them questions that may be about us and our situations because we may be too shy, or just don’t know how to ask.

So, my sisters and I have decided to collect questions from our sisters in the west that deals with issues that we are facing. Insha’Allah, we will translate them, and with the assistance of Umm Ahmed and a couple of the Students of knowledge, we will ask the Shuyook. Insha’Allah, it is our intentions to have the questions translated and then compiled so it can be made available in book form.

We are collecting questions from sisters, between the ages of 14 and 20.
When you send in your questions make sure to include:
-your kunya. We will not publish any names.
-your age
-your city or state

The categories are:
1. Living in non-Muslim countries.
2. Friends and socializing.
3. Fashions
4. Marriage, weddings and dowry
5. Children
6. Education, careers
7. Family, parents

Insha’Allah, we will put your question in the right category and keep you posted about the development of the book.

Please send your questions to the following email address: JZJMadeenah@hotmail.com
NO ATTACHMENTS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Wa alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatu
Jannah (Ummul Layth)
Zubaidah (Umm Maher)
Juwariyah (Umm Abdul-Jabbar)

This project is under the supervision of our Umi, Dr. Umm Hamza (Njeri) bint Yusuf and our Habeeb, Abu Kutub Abdur Raheem Gregory.

Yoonus ibn ‘Ubayd said, “How amazing is the one who calls to the Sunnah today! And what is even more amazing than him is the one who answers the call to the Sunnah.!” Sharhus-Sunnah. No. 127 of al-Barbaharee

“The Noble Women who Defined Islaam” – Apr 2010 Seminar – with Shadeed Muhammad

As Salaam ‘Alaykum wa RahmatUllaahi wa Barakatahu,

Bismillaah wa Salaatu wa Salaam ‘alaa Rasululllaah wa ‘alaa ‘Alyhi wa Sahbyhi wa Salam, ‘Amma Ba’ad

We at Muwahhideen Publications are pleased to announce a weekend seminar Friday April 16th to Sunday April 18th, 2010, with our brother AbuAzzubayr Shadeed Muhammad, dedicated entirely to our noble sisters in Islaam. It will be a series that will cover the exemplary lives of our honourable sahabiyyat in various affairs. We recognize that our dear sisters in Islaam play a vital role in the cultivation of our children, homes, and the very society itself, so we hope that this seminar will aid in enlightening our sisters towards the remarkable example found in our women role models from the time of The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘Alayhi wa Salam).

Please see the Flyer below for Full details and Schedule.

BarakAllaahu Feekum
Wa Billaahi Tawfeeq

http://aa.trinimuslims.com/mpubs/NobleWomenFlyer_WEB.jpg

Tale Carrying and the Danger of the One who Carries Tales

Tale Carrying; And The Danger Of The One Who Carries Tales And Hastens To Destroy The Relationship Between The Students Of Knowledge

Shaikh Saaleh Al Fawzaan [hafidhahullaah said]:
Tale carrying is to transmit speech between the people with the intent of destroying their relationships.  Allaah (The Most High) said:

And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless, a slanderer, going about with calumnies‘ [Surah Qalam; Ayah:10-11]

And the severest of all of that is the one who hastens to destroy the relationship between the students of knowledge and the callers to Islaam; and in order to divide the Jama’ah of the Muslims and incite hatred between them.  The one who does this is a nammaam (a tale carrier).

Indeed, Allaah (The Most High) has made it impermissible to follow and believe such a person even if he swears by Allaah, as Allaah said:

And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless, a slanderer, going about with calumnies‘ [Surah Qalam; Ayah:10-11]

The Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said:

The tale carrier will not enter paradise

And it is reported in a narration that the tale carrier causes more corruption in an hour than a magician can cause in a year.

Tale carrying is of magic, because the magician corrupts the relationship between the people and causes enmity between them, as Allaah (The Most High) said:

And from these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation between man and his wife‘ [Baqarah; Ayah:102]

They learnt magic and magic causes splitting of the hearts and enmity.  Likewise, tale carrying is more severe than magic; perhaps wars may occur due to the Tale Carrier; and perhaps the Muslims may split and show enmity to one another due to the Tale Carrier; neighbours may boycott one another and one’s household may show enmity to one another and split due to a Tale Carrier.

Therefore, we must fear Allaah (Azza-Wa-Jal) and be mindful of the Tale Carrier [1] end of quote

[1] Source: At-ta-thab-but Fil-Akhbaar Wahtiraam Al-Ulamaa Wabayaan Makaanatihim Fil Ummah; page: 34-36]

http://www.salafitalk.net/st/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=11&Topic=10635

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We have also seen how destructive it is when the people carry tales about spouses. That so and so is doing this and so and so is doing this. And most of the time, it is done with the intent to cause enmity between the spouses out of jealousy and hatred.

We need to be brothers towards one another and sisters towards the sisters, may Allah bless all of you.

So the tale carrying is also applicable to the relationship between the spouses, just ask Shaykh Saaleh al Fawzaan gave the definition of tale carrying to be: “Tale carrying is to transmit speech between the people with the intent of destroying their relationships.”
May Allah keep us away from this sin of tale carrying and preserve all the relationships between ourselves. Ameen.

The Difference Between Men and Women in Islaam

February 17, 2010 6 comments

Have you wondered what are the differences between men and women in Islaam? In worship, in character, in leadership, in marriage, etc?

Now you will find those answers inshaAllah. An amazing post. Hope it will be beneficial to all!

The Difference between Men and Women in Islam
By Shaykh Yahya ibn Ali Al-Hajuri (may Allah preserve him)

Character and Creation:

  1. Man was created from dirt and the woman was created from the rib.
  2. Allah has decreed the menstrual cycle for the woman and not the man.
  3. Men grow beards women don’t, but if she does it’s permissible for her to shave it.
  4. Women are deficient in their intellect and religion. i.e A woman witness = ½ a man and during menses she doesn’t pray and fast.
  5. The men have been given strength over women.
  6. A man’s semen is white and a woman’s is yellow.
  7. It’s an obligation to circumcise the man and its sunnah to circumcise the woman.
  8. Ear piercing is permissible for women and not for men.

Purification:

  1. The urine of the woman is stronger and more dirtier than the man’s
  2. It’s legislated for man to redo Wudu if he intends to have relations with his wife a second time in the same setting.

Read more…

The Mahr (Dowry) should be a small amount

December 29, 2009 4 comments

Mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete

[Q]: I and many others have observed that many people are very excessive when it comes to the matter of the mahr (wedding dowry that is paid to the bride), and that they seek great amounts of mahr when it comes to the marriage of their daughters, and they stipulate as a condition the giving of other gifts to them, along with the mahr. This wealth that people demand in such cases, is it halaal (lawful) or haraam (unlawful)?

[A]: What is prescribed in the Sharee’ah is that the mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete with each other in this regard, acting in accordance with the many ahaadeeth which are related about this. They should also help facilitate marriages and be keen in preserving the modesty and decency of the young Muslim men and women. And it is not permissible for the awliyaa (guardians of the brides-to-be) to demand and stipulate gifts for themselves, since they have no right at all in this matter. Rather the right belongs to the woman, and in some particular cases to the father. He may stipulate a condition as long as it does not harm the daughter, nor lead to the delaying of the marriage. However, if the father forgoes such a right then this is better and more preferable. Allaah – the One free from all defects – says: “And marry those amongst you who are single and also marry the pious of your male and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah an-Noor 24:32].

In the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir radiallaahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “The best dowry is that which is easy.” This was narrated by Abu Daawood and al-Haakim who authenticated it. And once a woman offered herself to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam for marriage. However, one of his Companions desired to marry her, so the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said [regarding the mahr]: “Bring something, even if it be an iron ring.” So when he could not find even this, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam married them for the dowry that the man would teach whatever of the Qur’aan he knew to her. 2

And the dowry of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’s wives was five-hundred dirhams, which is equivalent to one-hundred and thirty riyaals today. And his daughters were married for the mahr of four-hundred dinaars, which is equivalent to one-hundred riyaals today. Allaah – the Most High – said: “Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a most beautiful example to follow.” [Soorah al-Ahzaab 33:21].

So whenever the difficulties relating to marriage are lightened, then preserving the modesty and decency of young men and women becomes easier, shameful and evil deeds decrease, and the Ummah – as a result – will increase in number. However if this matter is made difficult, and people continue competing with each other with regards to the mahr (dowry), then the number of marriages will decrease, fornication will become more widespread and more young men and women will remain unmarried – except those whom Allaah saves.

So my sincere advice to all the Muslims, wherever they may be, is to facilitate the marriage process and to cooperate in this and make it easy. They should turn away from demanding excessive mahr and avoid unnecessary hardships and difficulties in the waleemah (wedding-feast) . Rather, they should content themselves with a waleemah that is according to the Sharee’ah, in which the burdens and difficulties for the husband and wife are minimal. May Allaah improve and rectify all the affairs of the Muslims and may He give them the guidance and ability to cling to the Sunnah (Prophetic guidance) in all matters. 3

2. Related by Abu Daawood in his Sunan.
3. Al-Fataawa (1/168-169).

Source : Concerning Everyday Issues published Al-Istiqaamah . Check others by clicking on the below

Al-Istiqaamah Magazine

Brief commentary: Today, marriages are becoming more and more a sign of showing off to the people what the families can afford and to show to the people their status in the community. It maybe that they wish for the people to think or say about them that they have a high status, yet their status with Allah might be from amongst the lowly ones because of their lack of entering into Islaam wholeheartedly.

As Muslims who follow the sunnah in all matters of their lives and who call others to do the same, we should make a sincere effort to bring this change into our lives so that, hopefully, by us acting upon it, others will change their lifestyles as well bi’idhnillah.