Choosing A Husband


Question:

What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allaah’s punishment upon her?
Answer:
The most important attributes which a woman should seek in o­ne proposing marriage are good character and Deen (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the o­ne proposing the marriage should be good in the Deen and in his character – since regarding o­ne possessing Deen and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the o­ne possessing Deen and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Deen from him.
But if the person is o­ne who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him – especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or o­ne who is known to drink intoxicants – and Allaah’s refuge is sought… So what is important is that the woman should concentrate o­n good character and practice of the Deen. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If there comes to you o­ne whose Deen and character is pleasing then give (the woman) in marriage to him.”
However if o­ne who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.


Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen
Fataawal-Mar’ ah Vol. 1. p.50


calgaryislam.com

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